Ask Us Answers- Parents on the Same Page
Q. My husband and I don't always agree on how to respond to my daughter's pain (one may be too soft, the other may be too hard) and it's stressful. How important is it for both parents to be on the same page and what are some things that could help us to get there?
A. This is a very common problem for parents who have a child with chronic pain and it is indeed stressful. The key to success is finding the middle ground (not too soft and not too hard) and having both parents consistently stick to that plan. A child psychologist can often help families to find that middle ground "sweet spot" and get both parents and kids working together towards agreed upon shared goals. Of course, if parents have been struggling with this for a long time, it can take a toll on their relationship. In this case, engaging in individual or marital counseling can help parents stay strong through these difficult times. As a bonus, keep in mind that research finds that when parents who have a child with chronic pain get help for themselves, children with pain improve in their overall functioning. So, helping yourself and taking care of your relationship ends up helping the whole family!